Number schwun...

Why hello there. I'm glad you've decided to come with me on this exciting journey through the wild and wacky world of the wonderful white chocolate (as some have so eloquently called me). Some of you may remember me as gringorocky from Xanga, and to you, my good friends, I say welcome back. How long has it been, now, 5--6 years? I missed you. We had a special connection back then, you and I. Anyway, what I'm actually trying to say, and to make a long story longer, is that I used to blog a while back, and actually quite enjoyed it. You never knew what to expect when coming to my site, because it was always something new. Something fresh. Something...well...new. Exciting. Interesting. Like I said, new. Get it? So, I've come back from retirement, like Jay-Z after "the black album." (If you don't understand all of my analogies, I feel for you, and I apologize in advance). This is bone of me bones and flesh of me flesh, as well as my bones...and flesh.



I love to laugh. I love to cry. Well, not so much the latter, unless it comes because I'm laughing so hard tears are streaming. Or if my allergies start acting up (which seems to always happen in hallmark movies, it's very odd). If you love to laugh as well, you should go ahead and purchase a lifetime subscription to my blog. I do accept all major credit cards, checks from ANY state, or country for that matter, as well as cash contributions (please make sure you it doesn't have the appearance of a birthday card, otherwise the mail service may "accidentally open" it). Just send me a private message if you need to and my secretary will be more than happy to arrange a payment plan that suits your needs.

Back to the basics. That's actually what I wanted to title this page, but I've used it before, and nobody likes used. Nobody. Well, except for all the people (myself included) who love thrift shopping, garage saling, and auction-ing it up on the weekends. But besides them, nobody. So I decided to go with more of a question? (Don't read that last sentence like a question, the punctuation was meant to drive a point home, not necessarily to create an actual question). "Would you like fries with that?" It's actually the meaning behind the question that is pure genious. BRILLIANT!! Anybody here ever heard of a little thing called advertising? It's actually a rather small industry, so if you haven't heard, I'm not surprised. Isn't it funny when someone tries to use a strategy on you that you can probably write the book on, but that strategy is so effective that you actually buy into it and sell out? I understand this is profound, but check it out...I went to Mc-whocares restaurant because all I wanted was a cheap cramburger and end up zipping away feeling like miss piggy because now I have a DOUBLE cramburger w/ cheese, french cries, an apple pie, 2 sundays, and a 4 liter of cola w/ a double shot of espresso, a straw the size of a garden hose, and a wallet with a huge hole in it. Well, I can't find the hole, but it must have one, because a huge chunk of change fell outta there somehow!

Point is, suggestive selling works. Suggestive selling worked. And it will continue to work unless you make up your mind prior to ordering and STICK TO IT!! Don't let them sucker punch you just because you have 15 cars in line behind you and you just want to hurry up and get going to appease the sheeple. Take your time and order with CONFIDENCE. You can do it!! Trust me, I know you can. I've seen people with less determination and will power than you overcome with pride.

So what I'm really trying to say is, this blog is about suggestive selling. If you haven't caught the hook, line, and sinker by now, you might not ever. I'm probably going to be very vague in some instances for obvious reasons (internet security for one, national security for two), but if you don't understand something feel free to ask. I'm glad you've taken the time to laugh and cry with me today, I've thoroughly enjoyed it. I am very blessed, and I hope you are, too. Catch ya on the flip-flop...